Anal Sex Tips for Beginners
With pornography's inaccurate depiction of anal sex as our culture's primary sex educator for backdoor loving, many people end up having painful first-time experiences and never want to do it again because somebody shoved it in without proper care and preparation.
Anal sex takes time, consideration, prep, and even aftercare, and if you are not getting a big "fuck yes, I want to have anal sex", then, please listen to your inner voice and respect your self-care needs.
But (BUTT! Ugh, sorry), if you do want to experiment in the anal arena, here are a few important stepping stones to successful anal sex.
1. It shouldn't hurt. This is where lube comes in. ALWAYS ADD LUBE! The ass does not lubricate itself! It should just feel like you might need to poop. You don't! (I hope you don't.) Just relax your muscles and breathe. If you feel actual pain, slow down, or stop what you are doing, add more lube, etc.
2. The person doing the entry should err on the shallow side. Everything that goes in should be "just the tip." The nerve endings you're trying to stimulate are in the anus— hence the moniker "rimming" — and not up there, which is generally the painful part and also the part that makes you feel like you need to take a huge dump. Imagine it like a basketball hoop, and the ball should just be rolling around the basket's rim, not making the basket.
3. There shouldn't be any rapid-fire movement immediately. Vigorous jamming of fingers (or anything really) anywhere should not happen immediately. So much of sex is fast — especially in porn— but anal play has to be prepped! If you're really into trying it out, we suggest an anal plug or a prostate simulator so your body will be more prepared for what lies ahead! And uses the rule of going SLOW! And allow the receiver to set the pace.
4. It's not dirty. Any sexologist can tell you that the anus and the lower part of the rectum have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends not to be nearly as dirty as you think! You may want to clean the rectum (just above the anus) beforehand. Using an anal douche is a quick and easy way to clean the area.
5.It feels best when there's some additional stimulation going on. Vaginal, clitoral, penile stroking, nipple play — whichever feels best for you! While some only need butt play ala cart, many can't come from anal stimulation alone. The anal part is something that's an accent as it adds to the overall experience. Incidentally, statistics show that women who have had anal sex report more frequent orgasms than those who haven't :) That being said ...
6.Make sure your partner doesn't use the same butt finger in the vagina afterward. Protect your loving partner from bacteria and infections…please! Use a condom or glove to cover the anal entering object (finger, penis, dildo, etc) which can be removed before venturing onto other areas of pleasure. Or wash the insertion object with soap and water in between penetration sessions.
7.If you try it a few times and hate it, don't keep trying it because you think it'll eventually be tolerable. Assuming you have a considerate lover, who's invested in you feeling good, we believe you'd know within the first five times whether you like it or not. Don’t feel guilty if it doesn't feel right for you. Everyone is different, with unique likes and dislikes, and that's okay!
Ultimately, just do what feels right for you!
